Honda D Series Forum banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Live,love,laugh,be real
96' Accord Wagon
Joined
·
5,973 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Some of these are pretty damn funny...
I think #10 is my favorite so far...lol

_____________________
Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays in order to have them published and sent out for the amusement of other teachers across the country. Recent winners:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled around inside his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the kind of wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who goes blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like the sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling west at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. traveling east at a speed of 35 mph.


15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing their kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
 

·
Registered
97 honda coupe
Joined
·
7,611 Posts
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling west at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. traveling east at a speed of 35 mph.

my favorites.
 

·
Registered
97 Honda Civic
Joined
·
1,784 Posts
haha those are pretty good

my favorite:

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
That was my favorite by far!! all great though :TU:
 

·
ministry of mayhem!
93 honda integra
Joined
·
5,673 Posts
i'm just like, like, wtf?
 

·
Ferio inspired
90' Civic sedan
Joined
·
2,441 Posts
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

haha, must be a blonde!:beer:
 

·
Live,love,laugh,be real
96' Accord Wagon
Joined
·
5,973 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
ya, this had laughin pretty good so i thought i would share... :)

BTW:
i repped who i could... :TU:
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top