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Old 09-25-2009, 10:18 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Talking The Official Chuck Norris Thread

Post any of the random "facts" you know or can find about Chuck Norris.



1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
4. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
5. When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Waffle House.
6. Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
7. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
8. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
9. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever
10. The First rule of Chuck Norris is: you do not talk about Chuck Norris.



ok...one more for good luck....

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
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Old 09-25-2009, 10:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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This is where I draw the line Jeezy.
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Old 09-25-2009, 10:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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OH Noes

chuck norris dont like honey -- HE EAT BEES
chuck norris put the laughter in manslaughter
the round house kick from chuck norris is make out of chucktanium and pain
chuck norris have two brothers -> DEATH and PAIN

what?! you dont know how is chuck norris?? Pretty bad for you, cause he know you !
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Old 09-25-2009, 11:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
Oxygen needs chuck norris to live
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I almost had you man....you almost had me? You never had me..You never had your car LOL
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Old 09-25-2009, 11:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a King Cobra. After hours of excruciating pain, the snake died.
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Old 09-25-2009, 12:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Chuck Norris went to the Virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
Chuck Norris can round house kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer and AIDS, but Chuck Norris is a badass and has never cried.
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Old 09-25-2009, 12:57 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Those last two are great, Becker.

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"I dont like talking to car forum people as much as I used to so now I just stick to the picture threads." ~E. Jeezy

"I should have well over 30k posts but d-series.org doesn't take into account, all the shit that I talk."
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"I'm so awesome that I quote myself in my own signature."
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Old 09-25-2009, 12:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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you made this thread 2 years too late . now its all about patrick
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Old 09-25-2009, 01:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E. Jeezy View Post
Those last two are great, Becker.

I will forever be associated with that crap show because of my name.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Old 09-25-2009, 01:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmgreen50 View Post
you made this thread 2 years too late . now its all about patrick
No Patrick Swayze gets a thread 2 years from now. Only Samuel L. Jackson gets a thread weeks after his death.
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"I dont like talking to car forum people as much as I used to so now I just stick to the picture threads." ~E. Jeezy

"I should have well over 30k posts but d-series.org doesn't take into account, all the shit that I talk."
~E. Jeezy

"I'm so awesome that I quote myself in my own signature."
~E. Jeezy
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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yawn i guess i need to bring back an 03-18-2006 thread.. opps vid is dead it's ok here's the vid..

https://www.d-series.org/forums/enter...s-himself.html

">" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="344">
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
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lol funny shit
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Old 09-25-2009, 06:18 PM   #13 (permalink)
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it

Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized
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my build thread
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Old 09-25-2009, 06:37 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Thumbs up

chuck norris can take off a crank bolt with a 1/4" Ratchet
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Old 09-30-2009, 03:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Ha Ha Ha, I just got a shirt that shows the many moods of Chuck Norris: Sad, happy, angry, sorrow, tired, excited, ect.... and they all have the same face expresion showing no emotion whatsoever. LOL.
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Old 09-30-2009, 03:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
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When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard, only another fist.
sorry if these were in the video, I'm in class and I can't watch it.
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Old 10-01-2009, 02:32 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off of a bat. To not be outdone, Chuck Norris than bit the head off of Batman. HA
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Old 10-02-2009, 03:13 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Don't know if somebody posted this already but here it is the man himself:

YouTube - Chuck Norris Facts

Also some more:

YouTube - 60 Original Chuck Norris Facts Video
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Old 10-02-2009, 12:15 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses.

Instead of mouthwash, chuck norris uses a mixture of woodgrain alcohol and iron shavings.
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Old 10-02-2009, 01:00 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Davone Bess > Chuck Norris
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