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Old 01-12-2015, 05:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default umm it's the pizza boy ,you got any money?

All right let's grab Robin Hood by the bag and make some porno... ahem sorry I mean Pizza.


your gonna need the following

The dough
1 cup milk
1/4 cup oil
1/4 cup secret ingredient maple syrup
a bunch of flower
11/2 teaspoon of yeast
a pinch of salt

The sauce

1 can tomato past +1/2can of water
shiracha sauce to taste
more maple syrup .cuz this is Canada EH!
1/2 teaspoon mustard Dijon
hint of Worcestershire
pepper
salt
.Toppings

mushrooms (not magical)
pepper
hot pepper
some kind of Meat ( cuz we're men)
olives
and Cheese please

But really you can put on what ever the fuck you want,
it's your pizza.
1.get a bowl that will hold all the shit
2.nuke the milk
3.add maple syrup ,and oil
4.add some flour

mix that shit up into a flour soup
5.add salt
6.add some more flour and put in that yeast (it's alive you know)I only use instafirm yeast others no clue.

7>add tiny amounts of flour until it starts to form into a ball .
Don't add too much flour because it will suck and the customers will fuckn hate you.

8.now it is time to knead that shit just keep rolling and folding that turd over on its self, add flour if needed



9.now cover with a towel and place it in a warm spot "room temp"
Go have a smoke or three cuz this will take a while to rise.
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Last edited by robgoof; 01-12-2015 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 01-12-2015, 06:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default

Wow the colors...

My my looky what we have here .

you sure have filled out..


Now would be a good time to get your sauce ready,

if you need me to tell you how to mix that shit ,
just put all the sauce ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir


Now choose your toppings wisely as this could make or break the za.

I got green pepper
olives
oregano
mushroom
sausage
garlic from the garden
Ring of fire hot pepper (fucken hot don't touch your face or nuts after cutting these)
and some awesome roasted peppers off the bbq that I had frozen.



Ok now get a pan,

get your favorite lube and smear it all over the pan.
don't want to get sticky

slap your dough on there and spread it out evenly (preferably before tearing down that burnt automatic in the shed)

now spread your sauce (you know how I like it)

sprinkle oregano

add your toppings
Don't be stingy bitch.



Ok now that we have made it this far and haven't fucked up to badly ,we can continue to the over.
Now I can't stress this enough !.
If you are unsure of the exact function of your cooking device don't hesitate to ask for help.
Try a neighbor or a close friend or that guy that your mom keeps telling you to call uncle Fred.

Alright set your oven to 420deg, this thing should be ready in 13 minutes +or-10% So don't burn it ! cause your gonna get smacked with the news paper again



If you fuck it up just offset that with beer .Enjoy
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Last edited by robgoof; 01-12-2015 at 06:21 PM.
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Old 01-12-2015, 06:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Looks amazing.
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Old 01-12-2015, 06:47 PM   #4 (permalink)
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homemade pizza is the best
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Old 01-12-2015, 06:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Nice! Thanks for sharing
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Old 01-12-2015, 07:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
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What sauce do you use?

Edit: Clearly I didn't read

Maple syrup?? Really?

Fucking Canucks...

Bagged milk...
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Old 01-12-2015, 07:57 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preludepatrick View Post
What sauce do you use?

Edit: Clearly I didn't read

Maple syrup?? Really?

Fucking Canucks...

Bagged milk...
Milk is straight from the tit, 4.7% butter fat .

and yes maple syrup damit
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Old 01-13-2015, 07:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Looks great btw.
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Old 01-13-2015, 07:49 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robgoof View Post
Don't be stingy bitch.
I lulz

Quote:
Originally Posted by v8killaz View Post
homemade pizza is the best
Aint that the truth. I havent made ma homemade pizzas in a couple months. Such a slacker
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Old 01-13-2015, 11:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Been making homemade pizza for years, but with a water based dough. Gonna try it with milk, thanks for the tips!
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Old 01-13-2015, 05:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by gearhead98 View Post
Looks amazing.
thanks,I try
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Originally Posted by v8killaz View Post
homemade pizza is the best
I sure like it!
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Nice! Thanks for sharing
glad to
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Originally Posted by Whoshot View Post

Looks great btw.

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Originally Posted by 2drz6 View Post
I lulz



Aint that the truth. I havent made ma homemade pizzas in a couple months. Such a slacker
Get On It!soldier!

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Originally Posted by maverick75 View Post
Been making homemade pizza for years, but with a water based dough. Gonna try it with milk, thanks for the tips!
will be similar but with the power of milk...
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Old 01-14-2015, 05:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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its all in the lips. lol
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Old 01-14-2015, 05:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
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DAAAAAMN that looks super tasty.
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Old 01-15-2015, 03:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I use chicken or vegatable stock as 1/2 of the water or milk, shits gangster.
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Old 01-15-2015, 05:41 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I use chicken or vegatable stock as 1/2 of the water or milk, shits gangster.
Maybe I'll try it one day but that's a whole extra step!
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Old 01-21-2015, 09:30 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Old 02-13-2015, 11:19 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Then you can make a pizza omelet with the left overs for breakfast !
Just dice up left over pizza and mix into some beaten eggs with a splash of milk.
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Old 02-25-2015, 03:44 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Then you can make a pizza omelet with the left overs for breakfast !
Just dice up left over pizza and mix into some beaten eggs with a splash of milk.

That is is a great idea but there is one small problem ,

I never have leftover pizza.
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Old 03-07-2015, 06:36 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robgoof View Post
Wow the colors...

My my looky what we have here .

you sure have filled out..


Now would be a good time to get your sauce ready,

if you need me to tell you how to mix that shit ,
just put all the sauce ingredients in a mixing bowl and stir


Now choose your toppings wisely as this could make or break the za.
That looks delicious.

I got green pepper
olives
oregano
mushroom
sausage
garlic from the garden
Ring of fire hot pepper (fucken hot don't touch your face or nuts after cutting these)
and some awesome roasted peppers off the bbq that I had frozen.



Ok now get a pan,

get your favorite lube and smear it all over the pan.
don't want to get sticky

slap your dough on there and spread it out evenly (preferably before tearing down that burnt automatic in the shed)

now spread your sauce (you know how I like it)

sprinkle oregano

add your toppings
Don't be stingy bitch.



Ok now that we have made it this far and haven't fucked up to badly ,we can continue to the over.
Now I can't stress this enough !.
If you are unsure of the exact function of your cooking device don't hesitate to ask for help.
Try a neighbor or a close friend or that guy that your mom keeps telling you to call uncle Fred.

Alright set your oven to 420deg, this thing should be ready in 13 minutes +or-10% So don't burn it ! cause your gonna get smacked with the news paper again



If you fuck it up just offset that with beer .Enjoy
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